Marriage and the message we give

I was at a MOM's group yesterday and heard a testimony that a beautiful, loving lady gave. She grew up in a wonderful Christian home, the sort we all desire to give our children.

She didn't talk about any great disaster she had brought  upon herself when she was a teen.

She didn't talk about any horrible trial God had allowed in her life.

What she did share was how the divorce of her "perfect parents" affected her as a young adult. And it got me thinking...


What sort of message are we giving our children about the life inside a marriage?

Making sure we never say a cross word to our spouse in front of the children....

How is that teaching them about marital restitution? When we do disagree, do our children see us forgiving each other?





Giving each child their own bedroom in the desire to give them their own space to grow and develop....

How is that teaching them about sharing a marital bedroom? Do our children see us working together to share common spaces?

Providing a separate bathroom for every bedroom....

How is that teaching them patience for the marital partner? Are our children watching us wait with dignity? 




 Being married is all about sharing. Sharing dreams and desires. Sharing homes and families. Sharing trials and shattered hopes. Sharing joy and love. Sharing bedrooms and bathrooms.


Are we setting our children up for troubled marriages and divorce because we are nurturing their individual needs, before nurturing our family togetherness? 


Being married takes compassion for our spouse. Add children and life gets hard. There is no alone space, everything we do is watched and remembered. This is especially so when the children are small.


Are we helping our teens to learn the skills needed to survive the early years of marriage and parenthood?

Are we giving them the sacrificial tools they need to flourish as newly weds and young parents? 

Sometimes I think we have sacrificed our families, our children, by trying to give them the best that money can buy.


Is it not more beneficial to future families that we share bedrooms... 
and bathrooms...
and time...
and joy...
and sorrow...
and noise...
and mess...
and love...
now?

Let's fill our homes with children, not stuff.   

Or downsize!      



Mumzy